What is frustration and how does it affect our lives?

Frustration: we define the concept and explain how to avoid falling into its clutches.

Frustration: we define the concept and explain how to avoid falling into its clutches.

You hear it a lot in day-to-day life, in the media. "The coach ended up frustrated at not being able to come back from the game", "He was overcome with a strong sense of frustration at not being able to get that job", etc.

But, But what exactly is frustration and what implications does it have for our success at work and in our personal lives?

Frustration: defining the concept

The concept of frustration is defined as the feeling that is generated in an individual when he or she is unable to satisfy a stated desire.. In this type of situation, the person usually reacts emotionally with expressions of anger, anxiety or dysphoria, mainly.

Considering as an inherent aspect of human life the fact of assuming the impossibility of achieving all that one desires and at the time one wishes, the key point resides in the ability to manage and accept this discrepancy between the ideal and the real.. Thus, the origin of the problem is not to be found in the external situations themselves, but in the way in which the individual faces them. It is understood, from this perspective, that frustration is composed of both a real situation that has occurred and the emotional experience elaborated from this situation.

How to cope successfully with the feeling of frustration?

The proper management of frustration becomes an attitude and, as such, it can be worked on and developed; Frustration is a transitory state and, therefore, reversible.. In this way, an adequate management of frustration consists of training the individual in the acceptance of both the external event -what has happened- and the internal event -the emotional experience of it-.

Frustration can be categorized as a primary or instinctive response. It is a reaction that naturally shows an emotionally unpleasant state when there is the occurrence of an interference in the pursuit of a proposed goal.

This is the approach proposed by authors such as Dollard, Miler, Mower and Sears in 1938, originating a new field of research on this previously unexplored subject. The intensity of the frustration reaction can vary substantially, to the point of causing even cognitive impairments in situations of high severity, such as, for example, the appearance of alterations in memory, attention or perception.

What is low frustration tolerance?

People who usually react by expressing frustration are attributed with a functional characteristic called low frustration tolerance. This style seems to be more prevalent in today's Western society, where most of the phenomena that compose it are based on immediacy and the inability to wait.

Individuals with this way of doing are also characterized by rigid and inflexible reasoning, with little ability to adapt to unscheduled changes. On the other hand, usually have a series of distorted cognitions that are not adapted to reality.This leads them to interpret it as unbearable to deal with more unpleasant emotions such as anger or sadness and leads them, on the other hand, to develop a series of prior expectations that are far from rational, excessive and extremely demanding.

Studies linking frustration with violent behavior

The study carried out by Barker, Dembo and Lewin in 1941 proved the existing link between frustration and aggression and showed how decisive are the expectations generated by the individual prior to the potentially frustrating situation.

Subsequently, Berkowitz qualified these initial findings and included other modulating aspects in the aggression-frustration relationship, namely, the subject's motivations, the subject's attitude towards the problem, his or her past experiences and the cognitive-emotional interpretation of his or her own reaction.

How do people with low frustration tolerance behave?

In general and in a synthesized form, people whose functioning is based on a low frustration tolerance have the following characteristics:

1. They have difficulty controlling their emotions.

2. They are more impulsive, impatient and demanding.

3. They seek to satisfy their needs immediately, so that when they have to face waiting or postponement of these needs they may react explosively with fits of anger or extreme withdrawal and sadness.

4. They may develop anxiety or depression more easily than other individuals in the face of conflict or great difficulties.

5. They believe that everything revolves around them and that they deserve everything they demand, so they feel that any limit is unfair because it goes against their wishes. They find it hard to understand why they are not given everything they want.

6. They have a low capacity for flexibility and adaptability.

7. They show a tendency to think in a radical way: one thing is either black or white, there is no in-between.

8. They are easily demotivated in the face of any difficulty.

9. They engage in emotional blackmail if they do not get what they want immediately, manipulating the other person with hurtful messages.

What factors can cause it?

Among the factors that can predispose the factors that can predispose and/or precipitate the appearance of a low frustration tolerance disorder are the following the following are distinguished:

• TemperamentThe most internal, Biological and genetic dispositions, such as temperament, distinguish individuals in their innate abilities, which may include frustration tolerance.
• Social conditionsThe social and cultural environment in which a person is circumscribed has a significant influence on personal and interpersonal functioning. Studies show that in Western society the occurrence of this type of problem is significantly higher than in other cultures.
• Certain difficulties in emotional expressionCertain difficulties in emotional expression: a restricted vocabulary, a deficit in the ability to identify and recognize experienced emotions and an erroneous belief that expressing unpleasant emotions is harmful and should be avoided, correlate positively with persistent low frustration tolerance functioning.
• Some models who present deficits in self-control: in the case of children, they learn a large part of their behavioral repertoire from what they observe in their role models. Parental models who are poorly skilled in managing frustration transmit this same incompetence to their children.
• Misinterpretation of signalsThe subject may value the frustrating situation as intensely threatening and dangerous, making adequate coping more complex.
• Reward for delayed action: any attempt by the individual to make a self-controlled and delayed response should be reinforced so that this behavior gains strength and increases in frequency.

Learning to tolerate frustration (and the REPT Model)

Frustration tolerance is a learning process that must be consolidated during the early stages of child development..

Very young children do not yet have the capacity to wait or to understand that not everything can happen immediately. Thus, the procedure that usually operates when a low frustration tolerance functioning is applied begins at the moment when the child cannot have what he/she wants and manifests a reaction of exaggerated catastrophism for that reason.

Then, given his interpretation of this situation as unbearable, he begins to generate a series of self-directed internal verbalizations of rejection ("I do not want to do/wait for..."), punitive (blaming others), catastrophic evaluations of the situation ("it is unbearable"), demands ("it is not fair that..."), self-deprecation ("I hate myself").

After this phase behavioral responses emerge in the form of tantrums, crying, complaining, oppositional behaviors or other similar manifestations. or other similar manifestations. Thus, it is understood that there is a bidirectional relationship between the feeling of frustration and the negative interpretation of the situation where both elements feed back on each other.

From childhood to adolescence and adulthood

All this can be perpetuated into adulthood if the person has not been instructed in learning how to modify cognitive schemes and emotional interpretations and emotional interpretations that facilitate the adoption of a more tolerant and flexible style.

Among the main measures that are usually part of the training to enhance adequate frustration tolerance are components such as relaxation techniques, learning to identify emotions, specific instructions on when the child should ask for help in a given situation, controlled behavioral trials in which potential scenarios are simulated, positive reinforcement of the child's achievements and acquisition of alternative behaviors that are incompatible with the frustration reaction.

Psychological therapies and strategies to combat frustration

Regarding the psychological techniques and strategies used as a resource to consolidate this type of learning in the parental-filial environment, an adaptation of Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Therapy has been proposed: the "Rational Emotive Parental Training (REPT)" model.

The REPT is a useful tool that helps parents better understand how emotions work, what purpose they serve, and how they relate to cognitions and interpretations generated after an experienced situation.The REPT is a useful tool that helps parents to better understand how emotions work, what their purpose is and how they relate to the cognitions and interpretations that are generated after an experienced situation. It becomes a guide to apply in relation to children's issues as well as a beneficial self-application for adults.

More specifically, the objectives of the REPT lie in providing parents with relevant information on the model that explains emotional regulation so that they can transmit this knowledge to their children and serve as a guide to be used in potentially destabilizing situations, achieving an adequate management of the emotions aroused. On the other hand, it is an instrument that offers a set of information that enables them to detect erroneous educational guidelines appliedas well as a better understanding of the motivations underlying the child's behavior. Finally, this proposal aims to facilitate the internalization of a more active functioning in relation to coping and problem solving in a more efficient way.

The main contents included in this innovative and effective model are the components: parental psychoeducation in the proper management of their own emotions to facilitate a correct educational practice and in self-acceptance that keeps them away from stigmatizing situations, training in alternative responses to frustration centered on a state of calm where the reasons for not being able to meet the child's demand are explained in a reasoned manner, the exercise of empathic capacity by both parties to facilitate the understanding of the other and the application of the principles of the theories of Behavior Modification (positive/negative reinforcement and positive/negative punishment), fundamentally.

By way of conclusion

In conclusion, it has been observed how the phenomenon of frustration becomes a set of learned reactions that can be modified with the establishment of new alternative cognitive-behavioral repertoires.

These learnings are a very important part of the set of aspects to be integrated during child development, since they are at the basis of a poor functioning of the child. are at the basis of an inactive functioning in the resolution of problems and potentially complex situations in later stages. and potentially complex situations in later stages; of a general attitude of loss of motivation that may hinder the achievement of diverse vital objectives; and of a tendency to manifest unrealistic cognitive schemes and close to the catastrophization of the experienced situations.

For all these reasons, it seems essential to work together with the family from an early age to prevent the appearance of such an unadaptive behavioral style.

Referencias bibliográficas:

• Barker, R., Dembo, T., and Lewin, K. (1941). Frustration and Regression: An Experiment with Young Children. (University of IowaStudies in Child Welfare, XVIII, No. 1.).
• Dollard, J., Miller, N. E., Doob, L. W., Mowrer, O. H. and Sears, R. R. (1939). Frustration and aggression. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
• Ellis, A. Bernard, M. E. (2006). “Rational Emotive Behavioral approaches to childhood disorder”. Springer Science and Business Media, Inc.
• García Castro, J.L. (s.f.). Niños con baja tolerancia a la frustración.