What is guilt and how to alleviate its effects?
One of the negative emotions that can detract from our quality of life.
What is guilt and how are we inoculated with it?
When someone gives us a message in order to make us feel "bad people", for having done or said something "inappropriate", we respond immediately with a feeling of discomfort and punishment.
This is mainly because our mind automatically responds according to what it learned during childhood..
Some of the psychological guilt systems we employ in our lives are as follows.
Residual guilt
Residual guilt is the guilt learned during our childhood.It is often used daily by parents to manipulate us with reproaches such as: "I won't love you if you do that again" or "You should be ashamed of that attitude". These phrases can echo in our adult selves in figures such as bosses or parental images, it can also be evidenced in our relationships, where reproaches from the past come to light. This feeling of guilt is reflected in our persistent attempt to gain the approval of these figures.
2. Self-imposed guilt
Self-imposed guilt is not necessarily connected to our childhood.. Here people feel immobilized by issues experienced during adulthood, self-imposed guilt caused by not following the "adult behavior" or the "adult moral code". The person may have bad moods for a prolonged period of time, even though the Pain of guilt can do nothing to change the situation. These are reflected in our arguments with someone, or by engaging in behavior contrary to that of others.
Examining worry
Let's remember that worry is a feeling that immobilizes you in the present for something that has not yet happened and as its word pre (before) occupation says, it means before some occupation, so we should focus our attitude on dealing with adversities before worrying. It is important not to mistake making plans with falling into thoughts of fear and anxiety.
Again it all starts with the erroneous idea that worry is closely related to love and importance to others, this can be evidenced in phrases such as: "I worry because I love you" or "You should worry about your future". But worry has no relationship with love and importance, since this emotion only causes anxiety and suffering in our life.
Releasing our negative emotions
To let go of negative emotions such as guilt and worry we must commit to living in the present moment. Learning to live in the now helps us to not waste our moments with neurotic thoughts and to be able to see life in a more positive way. and to be able to see life in a more constructive and rational way.
Now that you have a better understanding of the psychological system behind these negative emotions, you will be able to work better with your emotions in pursuit of a personal development that is less manipulative and more committed to your own happiness.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)