What is the Cinderella complex and why does it affect women?

This psychological phenomenon is based on the need for a protective figure to depend on.

More modern generations have expressed that fairy tales and princess stereotypes have seriously damaged the way women themselves see themselves (and their own misinterpreted love stories).

This social phenomenon based on traditional gender roles has given rise to what is known as the Cinderella complex. known as the Cinderella complex.

What is the Cinderella complex?

Simply defined, the Cinderella complex is a psychological phenomenon that predisposes women to value themselves and their lives depending on the proximity of a protective figure: the partner.

Thus, this psychological and social phenomenon favors the emergence of a self-image characterized by the expectation of the appearance of a partner who will supposedly give meaning to our life, and, in cases where we already have a partner, feeds the creation of a relationship dynamic based on dependency. and, in cases where we already have a partner, it feeds the creation of a relationship dynamic based on dependency.

The American writer Colette Dowling wrote a book in which she recounted how women with a Cinderella complex have a certain fear of independence and relate their happiness to their emotional status, giving rise to the insatiable and erroneous search for "Prince Charming" to achieve absolute happiness.

Cinderella as a female role model

The psychological pattern of women with Cinderella syndrome has three basic characteristics: an unconscious desire to be cared for, rescued, and attended to by others, even outside the romantic partner.

This type of behavior can be explained by several factors. According to Colette Dowling, its roots lie in a sum of motivations: from the way in which women are educated to certain social rules that lead women to feel this way, which makes it difficult to find a simple explanation to the problem.

In a way, the cultural legacy based on machismo continues to feed this kind of attitudes and philosophies of life that mark strong distinctions between what is proper to the feminine and what corresponds to the masculine. The former is fragile and must be cared for from the outside, and the latter is strong, firm and self-sufficient. The combination of gender roles that result from this polarized perception of men and women creates, among other things, the Cinderella complex.

Its characteristics

Some of the characteristics of the Cinderella complex are the following:

• Low self-esteem.
• Constant dependence.
• Fear of leaving the comfort zone.
• Idealization of the partner.

If you identify with any of these symptoms, the best method to combat them or transform this behavior is to seek happiness without a partner and with the virtues you have for yourself, without having to wait for anyone to come to you to change reality.

In case you do not manage to overcome these fears and attitudes, the ideal is to ask for help from a specialist who can help you modify your beliefs and habits.

Is it a mental disorder?

The Cinderella complex is not a concept used in clinical psychology or psychiatry to refer to a mental disorder. to denominate a mental disorder, it simply describes a certain pattern of behavior fed by customs, stereotypes about the differences between men and women.

However, if the behavioral patterns you describe are very accentuated and interfere with the quality of life of the person or their environment, it may indicate the presence of symptoms characteristic of Borderline Personality Disorder or Dependent Personality Disorder.

5 keys to be an independent woman

It is very common nowadays to hear about the need to vindicate the independent and self-sufficient woman. However, it is difficult to understand how to adopt an attitude based on self-confidence. For this reason, we will work on these keys to develop female independence while respecting that of others.

Basically, there are two types of independence two types of independence: emotional and economic.. In part, one depends on the other in order to consolidate a good level of independence.

Here are five tips to overcome the problem:

1. Take care of your emotions

Definitely the most difficult step and the first one to face, because it is the basis of everything. Emotional independence is achieved by defining well what you want, what you like and what you don't like. As for your personal relationshipsWhether with friends, co-workers, family or your romantic partner, you have to make an effort to analyze where your real capacities end and where the collaboration of others is really necessary.

Responsibility with money

The idea that it is normal and desirable to be financially dependent on one's partner greatly restricts one's freedom. Learn to depend on yourself and not to ask for money from anyone.

3. Enjoy solitude

Do not panic when you are alone. Value your moments of loneliness as something with positive aspects and encounter your own thoughts, feelings and fears.

4. Cultivate yourself

Enjoying a higher level of skills and knowledge empowers us and makes us freer and more autonomous, regardless of our gender.

5. Work on self-esteem

This point is as important as the first one. Loving yourself will help you to show yourself as an empowered and confident woman. and confident woman. Loving yourself, without falling into arrogance, makes you respect yourself, take care of yourself, cultivate yourself, etc. You should expect the same from the people around you.