What is the sandwich technique and what is it for?

Praise or punishment?

Redressing inappropriate behaviors in children is not easy, it requires patience and perseverance, as well as being assertive. If we were to give the key to success it would be to discipline lovingly and let them know exactly what is expected of them. There is nothing more exasperating for parents than a rebellious child who does not want to change his behavior: who hits other children, who constantly disobeys or even puts his safety at risk with his behavior.

A very effective method of eliminating these behaviors is l sandwich technique, a technique that is not based on punishments, but on the power of the accolades. A surprising change of perspective.

What is the sandwich technique?

The sandwich technique is based in achieving a change in behavior through constructive criticism. Before sending a negative message to the child, you should soften that moment with a praise and end with a positive message. Its main goal is to achieve behavior change by getting children to reflect on inappropriate behavior. It is a method that favors listening and receptivity in children so that they can change their behavior, at the same timestrengthens children's self-esteem, helps them in decision-making and facilitates communication between parents and children. It encourages you to make decisions and gives you responsibility for your actions; it is a true feedback technique. Through this technique, parents can also let their children know what they expect of them and teach them to be better people.

The sandwich technique receives this name because it consists of making a constructive criticism applying "several layers":

• A sincere compliment to ease the situation. Before letting the child know of the need for behavior change, start with a short and sincere praise that the child can understand. For example: "You already know that I love you very much", "You have many friends ...". You should not fall into a long explanation because that distorts the message.
• Request and explanation what behavior change is necessary. After the praise, it is the ideal time to raise the need for him to change his attitude or behavior. To do this, they wait a few seconds and add a "but" ... Then the wish of what you need regarding his behavior is sent to him: "You already know that you play football very well, but ... I need you to change and stop kicking other children… ”After sending your request, explain why:“ I need you to change and stop kicking other children because when you do, you hurt them ”… And then they are told what we need him to do: “I would like you to stop doing that from now on”… And the change is explained: “… you can't play so rough because children get sad if you hurt them and they won't want to play with you”.
• Appreciation and positive message. It should always end with a positive message, that is why, after requesting a change in behavior, it should end by thanking something, using the “although”: “Although I would appreciate it very much if whenever you feel angry, you tell me and we look for a solution together, okay? At this point, you can ask him what he thinks about it or just let him reflect on what has been said to him.

From what age can it be applied?

start applying this technique from the age of five and choose well when to use it. The child should be minimally calm and receptive. If you are very angry, nervous or tired, it is quite likely that you will not listen. On the other hand, it must be used in moderation: if we abuse it, it will lose all its meaning and the child will associate the praise as the anticipation of a scolding or a reproach.

Also important set clear limits against intolerable behaviors. In front of them, we can validate their emotions and why they feel this way, but not accept the behavior or action.

When should this technique be applied?

The sandwich technique can be applied on many occasions but the ideal is to take advantage of communicate with the child after having had the behavior that you want to eliminate, so that you are fully aware of what you have done.

• The sandwich technique is based on achieving a change in behavior through constructive criticism.
• The sandwich technique receives this name because it consists of making a constructive criticism by applying “several layers”: praise; request and explanation; thanks and positive message.
• Psychologists recommend starting to apply this technique from the age of five and choosing well when to use it.