What would you dare to do if you were not afraid?

Lack of confidence can relegate us to a mediocre life without incentives.

Lack of confidence, fear of failure and self-doubt are feelings that assail us at different times in our lives, preventing us from giving the best of ourselves.

Why do they arise, and can we do anything to overcome them? And more importantly: what would we be able to do if we were not afraid?

Loss of confidence

There are many reasons that can foster insecurity in people, causing them to lose confidence in themselves and their abilities. However, five of them tend to be more frequent. We describe them below.

1. Expectations that are too high

Perfectionism, like any other human quality, is appropriate in its proper measure. While it is good to try to increase our achievements and improve ourselves as people, Being satisfied with our results can never be a problem..

2. Judging oneself too harshly

Many people have a tendency to judge and criticize, find the negative and make bad predictions about their own capabilities. As a result, they may sometimes convince themselves that they are not good enough at what they do, or that they lack the qualities necessary to achieve that competence.

3. Worrying about fear

Everyone has fears and apprehensions. However, this is not a problem. To give excessive importance to our fears or to worry inordinately about them can, however, limit our life..

4. Lack of experience

Lack of practice in a given field reduces the likelihood that we will feel at ease when we do it. when it comes time to carry it out. If we do not have confidence in our skills and abilities, we will feel a strong fear of performing a certain activity.

5. Lack of skills

As is intuitive, it is not natural to feel confident in doing something unless we consider ourselves good at it..

How to improve self-confidence

While our skills and previous experiences build the "cushion of confidence", it is our actions (even if they are unreliable) that gradually give us peace of mind and certainty in our competence. What would we be able to do if we were not afraid of failure?

The trainer in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Russ Harris reveals four steps in the confidence cycle to build confidence:

1. Practice the skills

You learn to swim by swimming. You learn to fish by fishing. It doesn't matter if you know the theory, to become proficient in an area you have to practice it. If you avoid challenging situations, you will never be able to test and improve your own skills.

2. Apply them effectively

In order to develop properly in what we are doing we need to be able to focus on it, what in psychology is called mindfulness.What in psychology is called mindfulness. If we get caught up in our thoughts or feelings we will not be fully involved in the task, so we will lose efficiency in it and our results will worsen.

3. Value results

The human tendency to perfectionism leads us to want to do everything quickly and well. Uncritical self-examination and understanding self-motivation are the right way to give feedback..

4. Introduce the necessary changes

Modify the actions that lead to mistakes.The results obtained help us to improve our results, thus increasing our performance.

Basic rules of confidence

The confidence gap is the place where one gets trapped when fear gets in the way of our dreams and ambitions. So is fear bad?

It is often heard that it is a sign of weakness that reduces our performance in whatever we undertake. However, this is not true. Confidence is not the absence of fear, but rather a different relationship to fear.. As Eleanor Roosevelt points out Eleanor RooseveltWe gain strength, courage and confidence in every experience in which we decide to look fear in the face. The danger lies in refusing to face it, in not daring to do so".

Because, as the first rule of confidence by Harris' first rule of trustHarris's first rule of trust, acts of trust come first, feelings second. If we want to grow and develop as human beings, we have to venture out of our familiar territory (known as our comfort zone) and into the unknown.

Despite what we may think, we must not wait until we feel confident to act, or we can wait our whole lives. What about you? What would you dare to do if you weren't afraid?

Bibliographic references:

• Harris, R. (2012). A matter of confidence. From fear to freedom. Santander: Sal Terrae.