When returning home after living in another country is a problem

Coming home after having emigrated is very hard if we do not relearn how to live there.

Going to live in another country is not only a culture shock at the moment of arriving in the new home and adapting to the local customs of the foreign land. It is often a second shock, it is also a second shock, which comes with a bit of a time lag.. Specifically, when we return to our country of origin and realize that everything has changed.

This is a phenomenon known as reverse culture shock and is one of the consequences of the uprooting and anxiety that comes with emigration. And it is a feeling as vivid and intense as it is difficult to describe.

Readapting to what we thought we knew

When someone emigrates to a distant place, not only must they invest time and effort in adapting to the new landscape and the customs that prevail there; they are also making another kind of sacrifice, although this second one is not so noticeable. Specifically, he is missing out on everything that is happening in the place where he put down his roots and which is linked to his memories, his learned customs and, therefore, to his identity and self-concept.

This very discreet facet of uprooting has another drawback. Unlike what happens when we struggle to adapt to the foreign country where we have gone to live, the shock of arriving home after several years and realizing that we are no longer so closely linked to it is something that we do not expect, that surprises us and that, as a result, causes us an extra dose of stress, and therefore causes us an extra dose of stress..

The reverse culture shock appears precisely in that friction with sparks between the country of origin we are visiting and what we expected to find when we arrived there.

Strangers in our own home

Time passes for everyone, also for those who go to live abroad. That is why it is a hard blow to return home and realize not only that we have missed a lot of relevant events, but also that we do not even know how to "get around" very well in this place.

What friendships are left? Where have some of the businesses and stores we used to go to gone? How could the people we used to love have changed so much? All these questions, coupled with the fact that over time the people in our social circle have become unaccustomed to spending time with us, can cause us to experience three feelings of loss, can cause us to experience three feelings: isolation, confusion and self-doubt.

Reverse culture shock

Reverse culture shock is precisely what you experience when you feel that you do not fit in with the way of doing and acting in the culture to which you considered yourself to belong because you have lived there for many years in the past.

On the one hand, life in the country of origin has not remained static, but has been evolving both materially and culturally. On the other hand, the way of acting and thinking of the country to which we emigrated will also have left an imprint on our brains. will have left an imprint on our brain, even if we do not notice it.It is therefore very likely that when we return home we will see everything with different eyes.

The fact of returning home and not feeling entirely from one place or the other makes us feel uprooted and we need to readapt to life in the country where we grew up.

Frustration with new customs

Returning home and getting frustrated at not finding large supermarkets open on Sundays, despairing at the way our compatriots speak, not finding ingredients we have learned to love beyond the borders of our own country.... The sum of these small daily occurrences can make us feel frustrated can make us feel frustrated and stressed Stressed out, and even unable to make our plans and schedules work well for a season.

Returning home in the best possible way means being clear that we will have to spend a minimum of effort in readjusting to this place that is so familiar to us. At the end of the day, what we have learned during our years living abroad as well as what we have forgotten about our own homeland, including what we thought we were familiar with.What we thought would remain the same in our own neighborhood can make us feel very lost, lonely and confused if we do not remedy it.

Relearning to live in our country

What to do in these cases? The main thing is to break the possible isolation that can take over our lives if we assume that we can return to our home country and act as we did before. We may have to widen our circle of friends and do more to meet with the friends we still have.

Likewise, it is preferable not to pretend that the years spent abroad did not exist: embracing what the distant lands have taught us is a good idea, as those kinds of memories have become part of one's own identity and trying to suppress them would be an imposture, as well as a blow to one's own identity.and a blow to one's self-esteem. If we have to hide those signs of having lived abroad, does it mean that the mark left on us by the other country are undesirable and that we are worth less for having let it into our way of thinking? Of course not.