Why do we dream about our ex-partners?

It is impossible to forget that person if he or she keeps appearing in your dreams. Why does it happen?

Why do we dream about our ex-partners even though it has been a long time since the relationship broke up? What is the cause of the return of this torment?

There are many times in the morning when you have woken up, to your regret, thinking about your ex. This is because previously, at night, you have dreamed about your former partner. But, what is the cause of dreaming about our ex-partners? A priori we believe that we have not overcome it, but in reality there are many more explanations that are worth being aware of in order not to blame ourselves.

Through this article I invite you to reflect on why we dream of your ex-partner so that you can understand the mysterious (or not so mysterious...) meaning of dreaming about your ex.

Dreams: the importance of the unconscious

In the oneiric reality our unconscious is revealed; the subconscious speaks to us about some aspects of our life and ourselves that we cannot (or do not know how to solve when we are awake). and of ourselves that we cannot (or do not know how to) solve when we are awake.

Attending to the details...

As I have previously implied, the fact of dreaming about your ex-partner does not mean that you still feel something for him or her. It is quite common that while we sleep we project the image of that person who was part of your life without this being linked to an emotional attachment. To realize this, it is of vital importance to analyze the details of the dream (what you felt towards him or her, if something happened between the two of you or not, etc).

Be careful not to take dreams literally!

Dreams are symbolic, their meaning is never literal and, therefore, they are not a reflection of reality, are not the reflection of a reality that is true to our own (although there are certain elements that are)..

For example, if you dreamt that you kissed your ex-partner, it does not mean that you are still in love but that you probably have the need to be loved and that need is materialized in your ex-partner, in a certain way because our unconscious takes the references lived through our experience. In short; we cannot evoke what we have not lived, it would be absurd and not very pragmatic in order to solve our problems.

I want to stop dreaming about that person and I can't!

Another reason why we dream of an ex is because either we are not well with our current partner or we are not satisfied with our single life.

These dreams are associated with positive feelings and emotions (love, tenderness, etc.) but always with an undertone of melancholy that manifests itself upon awakening. Although in appearance both situations are different, they have in common that the subconscious is showing us that we lack affection and love; it would be appropriate that you begin to value yourself and that you surround yourself with people who love you..

Unpaid bills...

Another of the most common reasons why we dream and think about an ex-partner is that there are unresolved tensions. When a relationship ends badly or when you have not had a moment to express your emotions and thoughts, it is possible that dreams are formed in the form of mild nightmares, nightmares that want to tell us that we have a pending talk with our ex-partner and that they will not disappear until we talk to him/her. So you know, be brave and face the ghost of your ex!

Old demons in the form of romantic thoughts

Insecurity may be another cause, especially when you are starting a new relationship where you are living in a similar context to when you were with your ex-partner. Our mind is sensitive to stimuli and memory will repeat the memories you had with your ex when you associate them with the new relationship.

If when you dream about your ex you are sad, experience anger or any other negative emotion, it means that we feel insecurity and/or fear of starting a new relationship with our new partner. and/or fear of starting with our new partner. We weigh the possibility that we may make the mistakes of the past again and of course...we do not want to repeat that situation. In a way, it is a warning from the unconscious not to make the same mistakes again. It is not something negative, being aware of it we can have the full will to change things.

Am I a murderer?

A common but rather macabre dream is that we murder our ex-partner.Don't worry, it doesn't mean you are a psychopath. This dream only means that everything that bound you to your ex has metaphorically died, and that you are therefore ready to start a new relationship.

A possible way in which anxiety is expressed

When we suffer from anxiety or stress and we are not with our partner we can evoke dreaming about our ex to feel supported. Relationships are a matter of two, if you are going through a bad time it is normal that your mind evokes a surrogate of your partner so that you can feel better. It is a deception of the psyche.

In short: dreams are not always a direct reflection of our existence (but they are always an indirect reflection that advises us). and we do not always have a good perception of them. To learn from dreams it is necessary to pay attention and not to give them more importance than they really have from an emotional point of view. So you know, stand up to your ex-partners!