Window of Tolerance and emotional regulation strategies.

Knowing the limits of our window of tolerance helps to learn how to regulate our emotions.

All mental disorders or personality disorders have a common component: the appearance to a greater or lesser extent of emotional dysregulation. Whether as origin, maintenance or consequence of such a disorder.

Emotional dysregulation (or dysregulation) is an emotional response that does not fall within the conventionally accepted ranges for emotional responses. In other words: emotion takes over the person..

The maximum level of arousal that a person can withstand is determined by the margins of what is called the window of tolerance. If we stay within its limits we can cope with situations, learn and feel a sense of well-being and security. Crossing the thresholds of the window leads to an "emotional hijacking" where emotions take control of our actions. where emotions take control of our actions.

In this article we will explain what the window of tolerance is, what happens when we cross its limits, what factors influence the width of these margins and how we can expand this zone to become more resilient.

The Tolerance Window

This concept was created by Dr. Dan Siegel with the aim of describing the "optimal arousal zone" of individuals. Within this zone, we are adept at managing emotions even when we are stressed, sad or angry..

If we are within this zone, it doesn't matter what circumstances we are in because we will be able to feel and think at the same time. able to feel and think at the same time.

There are different factors that can act as triggers of emotional dysregulation such as prolonged stressful situations, conflicts, breakups, rejections, loss of important people, layoffs and a long etcetera.

A trigger increases the probability that a person becomes emotionally dysregulated, but it is not a direct cause, since our way of dealing with the situations that we face in life is not so much related to the situation itself, but rather to the capacity that we have to face this situation in the best possible way..

There are people who have remained within the window of tolerance even in Nazi concentration camps (I recommend the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl).

What happens when we cross the thresholds of the window of tolerance?

There are two ways to cross the threshold of the tolerance window: up or down.. When a person experiences too much activation we speak of hyperactivation and when he/she does not experience enough it is called hypoactivation.

Hyperactivation

When the threshold of the tolerance window is crossed at the upper end our nervous system is very excited. In this case it is extremely difficult to think and our actions are reactive or impulsive.

When a person stays in the hyperarousal zone he/she experiences:

• Increased sensations.
• Emotional reactivity.
• Hypervigilance.
• Intrusive images.
• Alteration of the logical process of thoughts.

It is here where the mechanisms of fight or flight appear before a threatening situation..

Hypoactivation

When crossing the threshold of the window of tolerance at the bottom. our nervous system is very little activated. It is for example when we are paralyzed by bad news, when we have memory lapses after a negative event, we panic and can not move or act.

It usually appears as a defense mechanism in certain situations. The person experiences

• Absence of sensations
• Numbness of emotions
• Diminished ability to process cognitively.
• Reduction of physical movements

This phenomenon appears very clearly in depressive disorders, and it is also very characteristic in traumatic situations when the person is blocked and cannot react.

What factors influence the width of the margins of the Window of Tolerance?

The narrower the margins of the window of tolerance, the more likely we are to cross them.

It has been demonstrated through numerous studies on trauma that all the negative experiences that we go through during our lives and that we do not know how to manage, create scars that narrow the window of tolerance. create scars that narrow the tolerance window..

Some of the factors that influence the width of our tolerance zone are the following.

1. Unmanaged traumatic experiences

Traumatic experiences are not only extreme events such as a robbery, accident, rape, natural disaster or terrorist attack. A traumatic experience is one that generates suffering.

The accumulation of unmanaged traumatic experiences throughout our lives narrows the window of tolerance. I emphasize the term "unmanaged" because a person who has suffered multiple traumatic experiences, but has been able to cope with them, becomes a more resilient person.

• Related article, "What is trauma and how does it influence our lives?"

Type of attachment in infancy.

There is currently a very powerful line of research on how the type of upbringing and the bond we had with our parents or attachment figures in childhood determines not only our determines not only our way of facing the world, but also the base level of activation of our nervous system, mainly the limbic (the one that processes emotions).

3. Cognitive distortions or thinking errors

These are automatic thoughts that form our internal dialogue. They are errors because they interpret reality in a subjective way, attending only to part of the information.

4. Limiting beliefs

They are unconscious and automatic firm ideas that direct our life.. They are deeper than thinking errors and originate in childhood (although some may develop throughout life after shocking events).

Both thinking errors and limiting beliefs are two ways of interpreting reality. When we interpret it in a negative, hostile, dangerous way and assess that we do not have the capacity to cope, our window of tolerance will be very narrow.

How can we widen the margins of the Window of Tolerance?

The margins of the Window of Tolerance are flexible and we can widen them to become more resilient people.

1. Grounding or staying in the present

Through techniques such as Mindfulness we exercise attention and the ability to "come back" to the present moment when we realize that our thoughts have taken us to the future or the past and are causing us suffering.

2. Create internal and imaginary places of security

It is advisable to think of a place (or create it mentally) that generates a sense of well-being and security.. Every time you feel that you cross the threshold of the window of tolerance you can return to that safe place to calm down.

3. Relaxation or breathing

Any relaxation or breathing technique will help you increase your tolerance level.

As a very powerful relaxation technique I propose Jacobson's progressive relaxation which is based on the tension and distension of different Muscle groups.

As a breathing technique I recommend square breathingas it is very easy to remember and to apply in highly emotional moments:

• Inhale 4 seconds.
• Hold the air 4 seconds.
• Exhale 4 seconds.
• Hold the air 4 seconds.
• And start again. Perform at least 3 repetitions.

4. Do psychological therapy

Therapy is a fundamental strategy because it is not only important to learn tools that can help you to regulate your emotions and face stressful situations in a more adaptive way, but also to learn why you experience those emotions, what is underneath, and to change from the root cause. to know why you experience those emotions, what is underneath, and to change from the root cause..

Thus, therapy helps you both in that self-knowledge and in learning the right tools.