Jan 9 / 2022

How to cope with cancer as a family

When a family member is diagnosed with cancer, many factors arise that can upset family balance, such as the uncertainty, the results of the treatments, the degree of disability, the social stigma ...

In recent years the model has evolved. It is no longer only important physical approach disease (cure or reduce suffering), but also prioritize the psychological and social field of the patient as fundamental factors within the treatment. Health is understood as something more global, so a three-way look is necessary: bio-psycho-social.

What changes does the disease trigger?

Among the fundamental changes triggered by the disease we find:

Change in functions of each member of the family.
Change in routines.
Changes in labor and economic environment.
Changes in sociability and future plans
In own image and sexuality.

All this generates diverse effects on an emotional level. After the diagnosis there is a feeling of chaos, which is tried to attenuate with the creation of a new normality. The main psychological reactions would:

Depression.
Stress.
Anxiety.
Somatizations or other physical manifestations.

Ways to cope with the disease

There is no ideal way to cope with cancer, but there are more useful ways than others. The way we do it will depend on different factors: personality, social support, prognosis, own previous experiences or those of the close environment, etc.

The basic coping profiles would be:

Fighting spirit: the disease is taken as a challenge and the actively cope. They usually use the military metaphor (war and battles, chemotherapy as a weapon, oncologist as an ally ...). They tend to be more optimistic and this is related to a better prognosis, although it is important not to fall into the tyranny "be positive", since the person could generate feelings of guilt for feeling bad at times.
Avoidance: perceive the diagnosis as a minimal threat and perceives the prognosis positively. It oscillates between denying reality (rejecting medical results, for example) and refusing to broach the subject.
Fatalism: thinks that it is impossible to exercise any control over the disease, since the result is inevitably negative. Passively accept treatment, as there is nothing else to do.
Helpless / hopeless: the fundamental symptom is depression. They feel that they have no control over the disease, and are not involved in the treatment as they think it will not help.
Anxious worry: the fundamental symptom is anguish as they are completely focused on the body, the treatment and the results. They obsessively look for information that reassures them in the face of any new symptoms, no matter how much the doctor rules out seriousness. They think they have great control over the disease.

Within the family, there is usually different profiles that are conjugated to each other, and these divergences can cause discomfort within the family. On the other hand, coping styles can also evolve in the same limb, which makes the situation even more complex.

Family resilience

Facing the trauma caused by the disease requires the development of strategies that help to rebuild the family life project and for this the creation of is fundamental. Some of the bases to develop it are:

Beef up communication strategies and emotional expression.
Support mutual connection.
Enhance external social networks: extended family, friends, NGOs, patient associations, support groups, ...
Flexibility.
Training in problem solving and other concepts related to psychoeducation.
Caring for the caregiver principal.
Meet sense of adversity and enhance intra-family resources.
Develop spirituality or transcendence.

How to prepare minors

It is important avoid concealment of the disease to minors, since they are capable of perceiving family discomfort, and the lack of an explanation could generate later complications. The Explanation must be tight at the age of the child. A name must be given to the disease (cancer, tumor ...) as well as giving a more or less concrete idea of what the treatment consists of. How should we proceed according to the age of the child?

In the younger children, 0-2 years, the priority will be more basic aspects such as the emotional tone of the communication or maintaining a small number of caregivers
In case of children between 3-5 years, it will be essential to focus on the maintenance of routines and make it clear that they are not to blame for the situation.
As they grow, between 6 to 11 years, it is necessary to dismantle erroneous beliefs, attend to possible derived somatic complaints or promote pleasant activities.
From 12 years old You have to attend to the feelings caused by the disease, for example, what makes them feel different from other boys or mixed feelings.
Already in the adolescence You can consider the incorporation of new responsibilities or the possibility of participating in decisions in relation to your own values and beliefs.
In addition to the physical approach to the disease (cure or reduce suffering), the psychological and social scope of the patient is prioritized as fundamental factors within the treatment.
There is no ideal way to deal with cancer, but there are ways that are more helpful than others.
It is important to avoid hiding the disease from minors, since they are capable of perceiving family discomfort.